幸福晚餐 ^__^

mummy came back from ttn and started shouting
lazy me went downstairs and helped preparing dinner
mum had a tight schedule so she cooked like a ninja
egg sandwich + salad
ok the egg sandwich was awesome but SALAD
i hate vege forced myself to finish it wanted to die
during dinner everyone chitty chatty i abit emo kept quiet
coz i just woke up from a weird dream
lemme elaborate
SCENE 1 :
i saw dad squatting next to a short wishing plant
holding a cigarette, he asked me to write down my wish on a paper
then i started tearing
it's not like normal cry cry cry
but like that kinda heartbroken sob
i could feel my heart aching,
my face drenched with tears
as i was wiping my tears
i wrote “ 永远幸福快乐 ”
and i handed that paper to dad
what happened next i can't recall
SCENE 2 :
was dad before getting married
i saw mother sleeping on a mattress but not bed
like she was not dad's only wife
she was holding a child on the mattress
i saw her eyes filled with sorrow,
but she didn't say a word
SCENE 3  :
then there was a fairy
she told me i could fly
i tried, i could lift off a little but i failed
she said everyone can do it !
then i saw her flapping her crystal blue wings
flying glamorously

i woke up from nap i felt myself almost miserable
i wanted to cry
okay maybe this happens to everyone when waking up from sleep
but my heart , it was beating
beating in pain....
after a while went down for dinner
everything was alright
mum served us dinner T____T
i love mummy so much...
i really do...
but sometimes i just lose control and tend to argue with her
as i grow older
im starting to feel her pain
what she had gone through
what had she done in her previous life ?
God didn't spend enough time to ensure her a happy marriage
she's so beautiful...
a perfect woman i would go for if i were a guy
she had a diploma but master degree now
tell me what flaws she has
and some people are really bummed enough to ask me
" so...your mum still single ? "
they really deserve a slap

jerks have better lives
i mean daddy is sometimes great and caring (as a father )
but why do this to mummy ? and....to us ?
and also....to mother ?
don't get me wrong everyone has their fault
but it's so sad to see this
rumors are just so horrifying

and sometimes people ask random things like
" joey ....are you sad about ur parents' divorce ? "
i can't believe how could people ever ask such stupid questions
i'm not that idiotic to cry in front of them and answer a miserable yes
normally i would tell them " cheh...used to it ady la "
but deep down i know
my heart and my soul
torn into millions of pieces
scattered all over place we had sweet memories
now all that's left is me
telling myself every night
" everything's gonna be alright "
now do something to me and i shall tell you
i'm NUMB
i can't feel nothing no more
break my heart or make me happy
i am just a loghead, idiot in life, stupid person

ok this post was supposed to be about a simple dinner and an abnormal dream
tears went streaming on my cheeks unconciously wtf
p.s / I AM NOT DEPRESSED
just expressing my thoughts on my own blog


Blogged, Joey.