Holding Hands :'(

am very very sad today.. :"(
i remember i promised myself never ever hold mj's hands again..
but today i fa hiao hold her hands..
as expected she asked me to LET GO..
of course i refused to..
but it only lasted for a while..
i let go my hand.. :(
i don't know why ??
last time she wouldn't mind whenver i hold her hands
but now... it's sad =(
after recess , when on the way to Moral lesson
i saw with my own eyes..
she holding mj's hands right in-front of me..
i was VERY ANGRY when i saw that !!
i am very sure that she did that on purpose...
wanted to punch her in her face !!!
argh !!!
not only that, she laid on mj's shoulder..WTF ??!!
when i hold her hands, she gets angry and shout at me..
but when she holds her hands and even leaning on her shoulder..
she allows and never say a word !!!
macaopukimak !!! ><
i got reli pissed and didn't wana talk to mj..
i raised my voice at her when she came to my seat..

after i reached home..
i felt reli guilty for what i did at school..
but should i ??
is it my fault ??
i felt reli down..
where's the 'feeling' i had before ??
can we go back in time ??
can i stop getting pissed because of her ??
and so..
i texted an apologizing msg to mj..
telling her sorry about this morning..
but i just wish..
both of us can be like before..
老公 and 老婆 :)

hold hands whenver or wherever it is..
is this possible ??

i'm sorry about today..
Blogged, Joey.